


Tour Life

by rosesiris2020



Series: Petals for Armour [3]
Category: Bandom, Paramore
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Petals for Armor - Freeform, Tour Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25155373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesiris2020/pseuds/rosesiris2020
Summary: The highs and lows of a solo tour.My take on what the Petals for Armor Tour 2020 would have been like.
Relationships: Hayley Williams/Taylor York
Series: Petals for Armour [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731733
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! I felt bad because I had no inspiration to write anything new, and this was the best that I could come up with. I have another chapter planned that I think will be more interesting, but please let me know what you think of this one!

It was a warm morning for London springtime when they stepped out of the hotel to grab some breakfast. The sun was brighter than expected and Hayley dug through her bag to find some sunglasses to mask the glare. The streets were typically busy for London morning time and Hayley nodded in apology to the commuter she narrowly missed colliding with, before reaching over to Joey so he could guide her.

“You want to walk until we find somewhere nice?” she asked absently.

“I don’t mind what we do,” he responded before glaring at the sun, “what is it with this country and the constant heatwaves whenever we are here?”

She snorted at his outrage and hummed in agreement. It wasn’t that bad in comparison to American summers but she hadn’t packed clothes for this sort of weather. She’d made do with jeans and a simple vest top but the city air was sticky and she regretted not checking the forecast in advance.

They walked for a few more minutes, stopping to look in a few shop windows before Hayley eventually spotted a small café across the road. “That one?” she offered, pointing to the sign that was advertising the basement café.

“I mean, it looks cute,” Joey confirmed, stopping to check for oncoming traffic before leading her across the road. They stopped in front of the outdoor menu and scanned the contents.

Hayley’s eyes flitted across it before she turned and cheered in Joey’s face. “Hey! Vegan food!” she cried, pumping her first and grinning.

Joey cheered back in response and the pair laughed at the dirty look’s the serious London commuters flashed in their direction as they swerved around them. Joey moved to shepherd her towards the café stairs, and Hayley followed instruction, musing about the potential of them serving herbal tea.

The pair sighed as they stepped indoors, the cool wash of air-conditioning coating their bodies.

“Good morning!” Hayley greeted the server. “Do you have space for two?”

The woman smiled and nodded, gesturing towards the main section of the café. “Of course, sit wherever you like and I’ll be right over to get you some drinks.”

They chorused their thanks to her and Hayley swerved between the tables, stopping at a booth and sliding into it.

She grabbed the menu and scanned the breakfast section. “Man, I’m so hungry I could eat this entire thing.”

Joey laughed in response before listing off potential dishes he was considering. The server returned within minutes and took their orders, before returning quickly with their drinks, placing them on the table with a smile.

Joey picked up his coffee and moaned as he inhaled. “This smells so good!” he cried before taking a large sip, wincing slightly at the temperature, “I think I’m still jetlagged because my body does not feel awake right now.”

Hayley nodded sympathetically. She had barely slept last night in anticipation.

They chatted about potential changes to the show to make it slicker until the waitress returned with their food. Hayley grinned as she placed the pancakes in front of her and thanked her politely.

They sat in comfortable silence whilst chewing, both moaning in appreciation for the food. Hayley pushed her plate forward as she chewed a large bite, silent offering Joey a bite. He waved her off as he covered his mouth, preparing to speak as he finished swallowing. She waited patiently for him as she took another sip of her tea.

He clutched his chest as he swallowed, wincing. “Sorry, way too big a bite,” he explained before finally preparing to ask his question. He pointed his fork in her direction and quirked his lips. “So when’s he landing?” he questioned teasingly.

Hayley rolled her eyes but humoured him nonetheless. “Erm,” she responded, picking up her phone and checked the time, “in two hours.”

She stared at him with a straight face after putting the phone down and he responded in kind. They stared until Hayley felt her lips twitch as she broke into a grin and Joey laughed at her failure to conceal her excitement.

“What?” she exclaimed, laughing in good-humoured exasperation. Joey waggled his brows in response. “Okay, yes, fine!” she laughed and threw up her hands in defeat, “so I’m excited he’s coming today, sue me.”

“Listen, if I had a boyfriend who was flying across the Atlantic to watch my shows then I would be excited too!” Joey pointed out before grinning, “I just like making you squirm.”

“This is the first time he’ll hear the songs live as well,” she offered back, trying to justify her excitement. Joey nodded before staring at her expectedly.

Hayley stared back before dropping her eyes, mentally reminding herself it was a good thing to be excited about seeing her boyfriend and that she had nothing to be ashamed of. She sighed and bit her lip before looking up at her friend. “And it may be possible that I have missed him,” she conceded, grinning and swatting Joey away as he pouted with pride.

“Hey!” he cried at her hands, “none of that thank you very much!” He grabbed her hand and held it on the table before squeezing it once, “I’m excited for him to come as well,” he said earnestly, setting her at ease. She smiled in appreciation and he quickly returned it. “I miss him too!” he pointed out before pausing, grinning and rushing out, “Like I miss him and I’m not the who’s going to have some fun with him in a hotel bed tonight.”

He practically cackled as Hayley burned red and covered her eyes in embarrassment. “Joey!” she hissed, scanning the tables around them, desperate to see if anyone around them heard. She sank down in the booth and averted her eyes at the obscene gestures he was making, “I literally begging you to stop, like right now.”

Joey relented and chuckled at his friend’s embarrassment. She was much more open in private than she used to be but he still got a kick out of teasing her in public. He pushed her plate towards her and snapped his hand towards the pancakes. “Hey, hey,” he said, getting her attention from where her back was nearly plastered on the seat of the booth, “Get eating this before it goes cold!”

Hayley watched him for a second before deciding she was safe of anymore teasing and sat up to reach for her fork.

“You’ll need your stamina for tonight,” Joey murmured. Hayley coughed the realisation he wasn’t talking about the show and pointed at him accusingly as she focused on swallowing her food. The glint in her eye told him she wasn’t actually mad.

“I’m done, I promise!” he said relented quickly, holding his hands up in defence. He grinned at her and she chuckled in response, shaking her head at his antics.

Despite the constant teasing, Joey one of her closest friends and she knew all the jokes came from a place of love. She was grateful to him for coming on tour with her, knowing she was going to need him in the coming weeks when the ramifications of solo tour life hit her. He knew how to distract her with humour when she needed it and would always be available to her if she was struggling. Though the circumstances of his promotion still made her too uncomfortable to dwell on, Joey was the band’s silver lining to suffering through that period.

Joey stayed true to his word and didn’t push her anymore with the sex jokes as they chatted about the places they visited on their day off yesterday. Hayley had been to London more times than she could count but it was different without the whole band. Joey was excellent company but experiencing the city without all the boys felt new.

Eventually, they finished their food and Hayley signalled for the cheque, and waved off Joey before sticking a two twenty pound notes down on the table, leaving a generous tip for their waitress.

The sun was hot as they emerged from the café and Hayley pushed her sleeves up onto her shoulders to try and cool down. They set off in the direction of the hotel again after discussing whether there was anything else they wanted to do before they had to head to the venue in a few hours. They walked quickly to get out of the heat, and with the exception of stopping once to chat and take a picture with a fan that they bumped into, they made it back to the hotel quicker in record time. They sighed in relief as the cool air of the hotel lobby greeted them.

Joey yawned as they approached the elevator before reaching out to hit the button. “I know I just had coffee but I think I need to have a nap.”

Hayley hummed in agreement and twisted to pull her phone out of her bag when she heard it chime.

_T – Just landed, think the immigration line is short! Probably see you in an hour? x_

Hayley grinned at the message and sent back several exclamation marks in response. She tilted the screen for Joey to see as he leaned over her shoulder and snorted as he cheered. She tapped the camera button and flipped it to face them, sucking in her top lip as Joey flipped a peace sign and crossed his eyes. She laughed at the finished product before sending it to Taylor.

“Wow!” Joey laughed as he viewed the image, “Bet you he’s so glad he came all this way for those two beauties.” Hayley laughed in response and stepped onto their floor when the elevator doors opened. “I think I’m going to try and sleep through this jetlag for a few hours,” he said as he dug through his pockets for his key card, “but text me if you guys want to hang out for a bit, or I’ll just see you guys when we head to the venue,” he said, finishing with a wink.

She snorted and snapped a finger gun at him in response as she walked backwards towards her door. “Sweet dreams!” she called as she fumbled for her key.

The door unlocked on her first attempt, having mastered the art of hotel key cards over the years of touring. She scanned the room as she entered, trying to figure out what would entertain her whilst she waited. She wanted to find something nicer to wear but there was no point getting changed now if she was just going to lie around for an hour.

She grabbed her journal so she could make notes on the tour so far. It had barely started but she wanted to document her solo tour so she could have the memories of it on paper.

It took her twenty minutes to write everything she wanted to say before she moved from her place on the bed to return the journal to the side table. She checked her phone again before deciding she might as well start getting ready. She knew he didn’t really care how she dressed but she still wanted to look nice . She shot a text to Taylor to let him know the room number before opening Spotify and hitting shuffle.

The jetlag hadn’t hit her as hard as Joey but she still winced as she pushed herself up from the bed. Rubbing her eyes to try and invigorate herself, she strolled to the mirror to see what she was working with. They hadn’t travelled enough to affect her skin too much, but she leaned close to the mirror to inspect it anyway. It was free of any breakouts but slightly dry, probably due to the air travel. She mentally calculated the time she had left before rushing to the bathroom to search for a face mask. She dug around for a few moments, eventually finding it at the bottom of her toiletries bag. She quickly unscrewed the lid and spread it across her cheeks using her fingers. There wasn’t time to leave it on for long as normal so it wouldn’t do much but she enjoyed the process of it nonetheless.

After pinning her hair back to it wouldn’t get stuck in the mask, Hayley rushed out of the bathroom and over to the open suitcase. She hadn’t brought loads with her because they were only touring for a short time in Europe before they headed back to the States and most it wouldn’t work with the current heat of the city.

She settled on a skirt and the vest top she had on early, confident it looked good and would stop her from getting too sweaty if Taylor wanted to walk around London when he arrived. He hadn’t suggested a desire to see the city but she would happily indulge him since he had flown all the way here. It had been less than a week since they’d seen each other but she’d do anything he wanted just to be around him.

She didn’t have time to try and figure out just how jetlagged he’d be, but he would be tired regardless. Using her fingers to lightly pat her facemask, she sighed at the tacky texture and decided to give it another five minutes so it could make some difference. It would be a push but London traffic was unpredictable so she had some leeway.

Needing something to occupy her for the remaining five minutes, she hurried to the phone and dialled reception, careful not to get the mask on the phone.

“Hi there!” she responded to the receptionist’s voice that greeted her. “I was just wondering if I could order something to my room?”

“Would that be food and drink, or something else that you require?”

“Food and drink, please,” she clarified.

“Of course, please wait one moment whilst I put you through to the kitchens.”

She hummed in acknowledgement and waited for the change in tone. “Hi! Could I possibly order two coffees?”

“Of course, what kind can I get you?” replied the male voice.

She relayed her and Taylor’s orders to the man before thanking him and hanging up. She could do with whatever energy she could get, and he could drink his when he arrived so they didn’t have to search for it later.

Picking up her phone, she checked the time and grinned at the fact he’d be arriving in fifteen minutes or so. They’d gone much longer than this in the past without seeing each other, even as a couple, but her stomach still fluttered at the thought of him coming all that way to see her. She had teased him that it was just an excuse to see some of his favourite spots in Europe, but it meant a lot that he would do it for her.

Shaking her head, Hayley reminded herself of her current priorities and rushed to check the mask in the mirror. It finally had hardened up enough that she could finally wash it off and put some of makeup on. There was no point doing it properly because she would have to do it for the show later, but she wanted to at least look mildly presentable for now.

A knock sounded out on the way to the bathroom, and Hayley groaned happily in anticipation for the coffee.

“Just coming!” she called, chuckling to herself as she strolled to get the door, confident the hotel employee would get a kick out of the mask.

Hayley pulled open the door, smiling politely to greet the employee. She immediately regretted leaving it on another five minutes, skin benefits be damned.

“Woah!” Taylor inhaled, eyes widening as his initial greeting was forgotten.

“Oh my god, I thought you were the room service guy,” she cringed, annoyed at herself for allowing this to happen.

Taylor laughed at the sight of her, endeared by the green mask smeared across her face. “Wait, you were expecting another guy?” he teased, “not sure how I feel about that?”

She rolled her eyes at his joke and grabbed his hand to pull him into the room. “Your earlier than I thought you’d be so that why this is still on my face,” she cried.

“Oh,” he said slowly, nodding in understand. “So it’s not some elaborate makeup thing the room service guy is into?” he grinned as he pointed behind him towards the closed door.

She snorted at the joke before gesturing to the mask. “I’ve been rushing to get ready and look nice but I didn’t think you’d get here this soon,” she explained.

“I think it’s cute,” he offered as he dropped his bag to the ground.

She grinned at him fondly before gesturing to the bathroom. “Give me two seconds and I’ll wash it off!”

“Hey,” he said, reaching out to her waist to stop her, “you’ve not said hello to me properly,” he pointed out.

“Yeah,” she replied, “because of this,”, pointing at the mask and moving off to the bathroom again.

“Hayley, I don’t care,” he reassured her, stepping closer and sliding his hands around her waist. “Please just kiss me hello,” he said, his voice giving away his tiredness.

Her mouth twitched in fondness at him, endeared to the fact he wasn’t remotely phased. She placed her hands on his cheeks and pulled him, lightly kissing him once. “Hi,” she whispered, staying close.

“Hey there,” he grinned back before leaning in again, successfully avoiding the mask.

“Okay, okay,” she said, pecking him once more before sliding her hands down to his shoulders, “let me wash this off whilst you get comfortable, you look a little tired,” she offered, squeezing his shoulder once. He nodded and let go of her waist so she could move into the bathroom.

“Yeah, long flight,” he explained, flopping onto the bed as the sink tap ran. “I couldn’t sleep so I did some work on my computer and watched movies, think it just tired me out.”

She hummed sympathetically in acknowledgement as she checked in the mirror to see if she missed any of it. “Oh!” she suddenly remembered, fanning her face dry whilst digging through her makeup bag, “I ordered some coffee to the room for us, I think it’ll be here soon.” She laughed as he cheered groggily, running her mascara over her lashes quickly before assessing her face. It was good enough for now.

“Ugh,” he groaned happily, “I knew there was a reason I love you!”

“For the coffee?” she grinned as she approached where he lay on his back.

“For the coffee,” he confirmed solemnly, reaching for her as she stood by the bed.

She allowed herself to be pulled onto the mattress, settling down onto his chest. “Anything you want to do today?” she asked quietly, stroking the fabric of his t-shirt. “We’ve got a few hours before we have to leave for the venue?”

“No, not really,” he mumbled tiredly, pulling her closer, “I’m happy just to lie here for now,” he said, kissing her head. “I guess it’s probably a waste of a nice day in London but this is good.”

She turned her head and smiled at him before moving upwards to meet his lips. The hand from his chest moved to stroked his stubbled cheek as he deepened it, moving his arms to wrap around her waist to keep her in place. She sighed happily, releasing tension she didn’t know she was holding until that moment. “Hey,” she whispered in between kisses, “I missed you.”

Taylor smiled into the kiss. “I missed you too.”

She grinned in delight before sliding her hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him in slightly harder. He moaned in response and pulled her on top of him. They continued until a knock sounded on the door.

Taylor groaned. “Fuck the coffee,” he declared, pulling her back in.

She laughed and shook her head, pushing away from his chest to stand up. “Not if I’m paying for it,” she called as she walked to the door.

“Hi there,” she greeted the man, reaching out to take the two coffee’s in the to-go cups, “hang on one second!” she promised him as she ran back to the room. Taylor dug into his pocket and brandished a five-pound note for her. She smiled gratefully and handed over the tip as she approached the door, “thanks so much,” she said as he nodded and walked down the corridor.

She shut the door with her hip, coffee’s in hand. “Oh my god, this smells so good!” she cried as she walked back to the bed where Taylor had sat up against the headboard.

“Was he sad you didn’t have your mask on?” Taylor asked innocently, grinning as she glared at him.

“You want the coffee?” she demanded, holding it back from him.

“Very much so,” he nodded, making grabby hands for the cup.

She laughed at him and relented, settling down next to him. He draped his arm over her shoulders before taking a sip. “This is good stuff,” he said appreciatively.

She nodded in agreement, taking another sip before leaning to press a kiss under his jaw. He took another gulp, looking at the coffee and then looking at her. He smiled and pressed his lips to her forehead, mumbling, “I love you a lot, you know.”

She pulled away to look at him. “For my coffee?” she asked innocently, before cracking a grin.

He huffed out a laugh at the joke. “No,” he said, looking directly at her, “not just for the coffee.” He spoke quietly, eyes bright.

She smiled softly before leaning over to kiss his tired lips, tasting the faint hint of coffee. “I love you a lot too,” she confirmed.

He squeezed her shoulder to bring her closer, as they sat quietly drinking their coffee, appreciating the time together.

\--

Hayley woke with a start and sat up with a violent jerk to someone knocking on her door repeatedly. “Son of a – ”

She pushed up on her arms, reaching to grab her phone from the table where it lay next to the abandoned coffees. She stumbled out the bed, catching her hand on Taylor’s stomach, causing him to grunt in pain as he woke.

“Shit sorry,” she soothed him, rushing to the door, “hold on, I’m coming!” The alarm they had set hadn’t gone off yet so they weren’t late.

“Hello?”

“Hey!” Joey replied simply, “you weren’t answering my texts, so I thought I’d come and see what you guys were up to –”, his eyes widened as he winced, “shit, I’m not interrupting am I?”

Hayley yawned and shook her head. “No, you’re good,” she opened the door wider to let him in. “We had some coffee but T’s jetlagged too, so we had a nap.”

“Taylor!” Joey cried, pacing towards the bed.

“Inside voices please,” Hayley reminded him, still groggy.

Taylor grunted on impact as Joey hit the bed but extended an arm anyway, offering a sleepy hug to greet him. Hayley grinned at the sight and snapped a photo of them as Joey grinned in Taylor’s half-asleep embrace.

She placed her phone back on the table and crawled back to her sleeping position. Taylor extended his arm automatically to her, eyes still yet to open.

“So when do we need to leave?” Hayley asked Joey, resting her chin on Taylor’s chest to see him.

“Probably in fifteen minutes. Do you have everything ready to go?”

Hayley groaned and rolled off the bed. “Nope,” she replied, popping the p. “I need to pick an outfit and grab my stage makeup bag.” She stared at the suitcase of clothes, scanning for the ones she had planned to wear. She rubbed her eyes and groaned dramatically, “Joey, can you pick something please, I’m not awake enough yet.”

He rolled off the bed and squatted by the bag. He hummed as he plucked up garments and held them out in front of himself. He pulled out the silk skirt and nodded, handing it to Hayley as he continued scanning.

“Keep choosing,” she said as she walked away, “I’m getting my venue bag, I don’t know what I left in there from Amsterdam,” she explained.

After eventually piling what she needed for the night into the bag, Joey left to grab what he needed from his room.

“Hey T,” she whispered, stroking his hair gently to wake him. “It’s time to go to the venue.” She grinned as he mumbled something incoherent and kissed his cheek. “Come on sleepy, I can’t start off the tour being late.”

“I’m up,” Taylor slurred and sat up, “I promise.” He hummed in contentment as Hayley ran her hands through his hair.

“We’ve got like – ” she checked her phone before continuing, “five minutes before we need to meet in the lobby.”

He nodded and stood, stumbling slightly as he adjusted to being awake.

She sat and watched him as he roamed the room, searching through his bag for the things he needed. He pulled a shirt out of his bag and jerked the t-shirt he had flown in over his head, slipping the shirt on to smarten up.

He grabbed his jacket and patted the pockets, checking for his phone and wallet as he shoved on his shoes. “Okay, I think I’m good for everything I need tonight. Have you got everything you need?”

She nodded and held up her venue bag to show him. “You want to head downstairs?”

“Yeah let’s go,” he said as he walked to open the door for her, “have you got the key?”

Hayley’s eyes widened as she swivelled back into the room, striding to the side table to pick up the key. She grinned as she walked back through the door and held it up for him to see, “Now I do.”

He laughed and shut the door behind them, reaching out to rest his hand on the small of her back.

\--

The music of the bar was loud as they stood and chatted with the touring crew. Hayley wasn’t typically into going out after gigs but she was happy to make an exception tonight.

She laughed as she chatted with the tour manager, spotting Taylor and Joey at the pool table in her peripheral. She excused herself politely before heading over to them, grinning at the sight.

Joey was drunkenly giggling as he smacked Taylor’s balls into the pockets, effectively ruining the game. “Man, I already won!” Taylor cried, laughing as Joey shook his head in denial.

“Show me the evidence!” he exclaimed back, gesturing to the nearly empty table. His eyes widened as he caught Hayley walking towards them and reached out to pull her to his side. “Hayley, please tell this man he is mistaken,” he slurred.

Hayley laughed and checked the table. “T, I think he’s right, there’s no evidence!” she said, hiding her grin behind her glass.

Taylor gasped, clutching his chest dramatically. “I come all this way to see you guys, and this is how you treat me?” he cried, laughing at his own drunk hysterics. He dropped the pool cue into the table and gestured over his shoulder, spilling some of the beer out of the bottle in his hand, “Fine! I guess I’ll just leave!”

Hayley laughed before rushing to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “No, no, no,” she insisted, holding him still, “You aren’t leaving here until I say so.”

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her back. “So I shouldn’t fly home right now?”

She grinned as she looked up at him and shook her head. “Nope!” she confirmed, swaying them, “that’s a terrible decision.”

“Oh, is it?” he cocked his head to one side, grinning down at her.

“Yeah,” she nodded, leaning closer, “that would suck for me.”

“It would?” he grinned wider, leaning towards her.

She nodded and leaned up to kiss him quickly in confirmation. It was probably a bad idea to do in public, but she was drunk enough and didn’t really care right now. He’d come all the way to London for her, and she wanted to make the most of it.

He held her against him a bit longer as they swayed, content with life. He kissed her head once before adjusting her to his side. He pointed at Joey, who looked up from his phone in surprise. “One more game, me and Hayley versus you. Loser buys drinks for the rest of the night!”

Joey nodded, game for the challenge. “No offence H, but I’m confident now.”

“Hey,” she squawked, turning to look at Taylor. He was laughing at Joey’s word before he turned to her, dropping the smirk instantly and shaking his head solemnly.

Hayley laughed and shoved him away. “Alright then, let’s go. Game on!” she cried, rolling up her sleeves up before swigging the last of her champagne.

\--

“Why is it that we’re flying back home just as I get over my jetlag?” Joey huffed, dropping into the armchair.

“I don’t know man, I’m still pretty tired,” Hayley offered, sipping her water.

The lounge in the Cologne airport was relatively quiet and the tour team had spread out across the chairs, waiting for the gate to be called.

Hayley laughed at a photo from the Paris show where she’d been caught with her eyes crossed and flipped the phone so Joey could see. He snorted and wiped across to see himself.

“You know what I’m shocked by?” he said, leaning back in his chair, “that no one got a photo of T. I’ve checked a few times and other than tweets about someone possibly seeing him in London, he actually managed to get away with it.”

“I’m a man of mystery,” Taylor explained, dropping into the chair next to Hayley. He placed an apple on the table in front of her before pulling out his phone to look for something.

Hayley smiled at his thoughtfulness and picked up the apple to take a bite. She hadn’t even realised she was hungry.

“Where’s your first date in the states again?” Taylor asked, looking up from his phone.

“Seattle,” Joey answered, “before we head down to California.”

Taylor hummed. “Man, it’s going to suck when you guys go and it’s just me in Nashville.”

Joey pouted and Hayley reached over the armrest to stroke his forearm. “You can always come with us,” she offered, “it could be cute! You could be a roadie or something, hang out with all the gear and stuff, that sounds ideal for you.”

He huffed in laughter and shook his head. “I’ll probably just hang out in the studio, I need to start focusing and get some work done. I’ll probably end up being super busy trying to catch up from the time I missed this week.”

“You sure?” Hayley asked, tracing her fingers over his palm, “you’re more than welcome to come and experience in person, rather than just have me explain it over facetime every night.”

He smiled and opened his fingers wider to let her thread hers through his. He squeezed once in thanks and she smiled fondly at him.

“I swear,” Joey began, “If you do come and I’m a third wheel the whole time, I’m going to have a lot to say about it.”

They both laughed in response and Hayley reached out her hand to grab his. “Aw Joe,” she cooed, “you know you’re my special tour boyfriend.”

Joey beamed before turning to Taylor to stick out his tongue. They both laughed at his antics, Taylor holding his hands up in defeat.

They chatted quietly about their favourite moments from the past few days for a while before the tour manager came to collect them.

“Gates closing in twenty so we should start heading down there,” he warned them, and they nodded in thanks.

“Man, I’m so ready to get to my seat and fall asleep,” Hayley mused as she collected her try-on. She was met with hums of acknowledgment as the crew finished getting ready to leave.

The group started to move towards the exit, some checking for passports and tickets before they left the lounge.

Hayley shuffled over to Taylor as he adjusted his bag onto his back. She waited quietly as he patted his pockets for his essentials, before nodding to confirm he had them. She adjusted the beanie further down onto her head before reaching out to loop her arm through his.

They walked in comfortable silence before Taylor spoke again. “Hey, I know I’ve said this already,” he glanced at her, smiling, “but you really blew me away at the shows. You said you were concerned about being up there alone, but I’ve never seen you better.”

“Thanks, T,” she said softly, blushing at the compliment. “I’m surprised how well it went if I’m being honest. Like, it was definitely weird at first to look over and not see you or Zac, but I think I might be getting used to it.”

“You looked and sounded great! I know you’re good at hiding your nerves, but I’ve never seen your own songs like that,” he continued honestly, “I was really proud of you, Hayley.”

She grinned into the sleeve of his jumper, embarrassed by the praise. “You’re very sweet but I don’t know how many more nice things I can hear before this gets too much.”

He laughed at her response and stroked the small of her back. “That’s fair,” he conceded as they joined the queue for their flight.

They waited in comfortable silence as the queue moved forward, eventually making it onto the plane after five minutes of waiting.

“You want the window?” Taylor turned to ask as he led them to their seats.

“Please,” Hayley responded, squeezing past him into the row of two.

They settled into the seats, organising what they wanted from their bags before Taylor placed them in the overhead lockers.

“You excited to head home?” Taylor asked quietly, adjusting his voice to the appropriate level for the plane.

“Mm,” Hayley hummed, resting her head on his shoulder, “I miss Alf, and I just want to sleep in my bed as much as possible before I leave again.”

Taylor agreed and sunk slightly slower in his seat so her neck wasn’t craned. “It’s going to be weird without you, but I think this tour is going to be really great Hayley.”

She tilted her headed and pressed a few soft, tired kisses to his cheek. “I’m going to miss you too,” she said softly, “and I hope so,” she said, sighing. “I am excited for it, but it’s going to be weird without you guys.”

Taylor noted the apprehension in her voice. “You know you can call me anytime H,” he reminded her gently, “You deserve a great solo tour but there’s no shame in asking for support if you need it. You’ve got Joey with you and I’ll happily come out and see you whenever you want.”

The safety announcements interrupted them, and Hayley chuckled as Taylor muttered them under his breath. They’d been on so many flights at this point, Hayley reckoned she could probably perform the routine if they asked her to.

She wove her arm around his, glad the previous conversation had ended. She had a lot of feelings about the upcoming tour across the US, and though she was excited and grateful for the opportunity, she didn’t want to worry anyone with her concerns of doing it alone.

“Hey T,” she began, “I’m really glad you came.’ She smiled at him as he turned to look at her properly. “I know the tour’s barely started but your support means a lot. It helped more than you know.”

He smiled bashfully and nodded, “It was my pleasure,” he whispered against her head, kissing it once before resting it on to hers. “You ready to sleep?”

She nodded and curled her legs up onto the seat, closing her eyes as the plane started to sprint down the runway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! sorry, this took a while, I lost inspiration for it and struggled to get myself to sit and concentrate so I could actually write it lol. Honestly not sure if its slightly confusing or barely decent, but hope you enjoy it anyway!

The tour started well.

Hayley had noticed the change immediately but it wasn’t necessarily bad, to begin with. It seemed like growing pains, an uncomfortable ache that would fade as she grew into the tour and her temporary life as a solo artist.

Except it wasn’t fading, and the ache had slowly morphed into a deep throb that only gave her relief during the concerts themselves. She didn’t have time to dwell on it then, she had a job to do and fans to impress.

And she truly did love the shows. The fans were receptive to the songs and it felt like they were the most honest of her career so far. She wasn’t afraid to sing these songs to the fans if anything they accepted her pain and validated it for her. She didn’t feel alone when she was on stage, she had Joey to dance with and the smaller venues made it easier to read every emotion of the audience's faces as they moved through the setlist. She loved the rage they expressed during Simmer and the joy they radiated during Crystal Clear. The gigs were getting her through the ache, making it almost worth it.

It was the off time that she felt it most. She couldn’t tell if it was loneliness, because she had Joey with her and he was great company so by any standards she had no right to feel alone. He stayed with her during the day and encouraged her to visit the cities when they had free time, he was silly with her when she needed him to be but would happily sit in silence and journal alongside her when she needed quiet. They had joked that he was her tour boyfriend but the truth was that he really did take care of her when she needed it. She dismissed her right to feel alone because his presence should be enough.

It wasn’t even that she missed her own boyfriend. She spoke to Taylor every day and tried kept him up-to-date on tour life and the concerts, or he would play new mixes of songs he was working on over facetime as they lay in their separate beds, across the country from each other. She wasn’t a needy person that required constant attention from their significant other, she’d grown so much since the divorce and enjoyed her independence outside of her relationship. She knew Taylor wanted this tour to be great for her and he had been nothing but supportive whilst she’d been away.

And yet she could feel her body draining of energy each time she stepped off stage, something she hadn’t felt during any of Paramore’s most recent tours. She couldn’t bring herself to be interested in seeing the cities and spent most nights waiting in her room or bunk for Post Mates to arrive. She’d been short with Taylor when he voiced his concern for her lack of enthusiasm after the most recent shows and she hated that she couldn’t explain to him what was wrong. Joey had tried to demand that she came with him to a bar, even just for one drink. There was usually no one better to go out with, and after initially agreeing the first few times, she’d been firmly shutting Joey down and making up the excuse that she needed more sleep.

Joey, of course, knew this was a lie. Despite the energetic start to the tour in Europe, Hayley had spent increasing amounts of time in her room and slept in later than she did during time off in Nashville. She would dance on stage with him and put on great shows, but it was during the off-time that he was noticing the changes in her behaviour. She had been so eager to explore the cities during the last few After Laughter tours but now she refused to visit the shops and lunch spots with him that they had discussed before the solo tour had even begun. She’d taken to disappearing after shows and hiding in her room or bunk instead of joining the rest of the crew for drinks, and the guilt she had exuded from constantly declining was morphing into irritability. He could see the circles under the eyes darken with each passing day, confirming that she wasn’t sleeping when she claimed she was.

Their friendship had developed during the writing of the album and he knew that she trusted him, but he could feel her shutting off and tuning out his attempts to help with each passing day of the tour. He knew her well enough that she had to be pushed to accept help, and that her attempts to deny her problems were her most common sign of self-sabotage.

He sighed as he approached the door of her hotel room, knocking lightly on the wood. After a few moment’s he heard the soft padding of feet approach the door.

“Hey,” he grinned softly as she opened the door.

“Oh hey,” Hayley yawned, blinking once. “Listen, if you were wanting to go out tonight, I really don’t think I have the energy for it.”

Joey shook his head, subtly wedging his foot against the door in case she tried to shut him down. “Nah,” he responded casually, shaking his hands, “I was thinking we could just relax in your room tonight.” New York City wasn’t the best place for a tour bus so the crew was staying in a hotel for the duration of their time there.

She winced and shook her head as she considered his words. “Joe, like I said I’m just really tired so I don’t think I’ll be any fun for you tonight.”

He smiled kindly despite her attempts to send him away, “You don’t have to be anything for me,” he offered, “I just want to hang.” He knew she wasn’t going to be happy with him for ignoring her subtle requests to be alone, but he wasn’t going to let her wallow in isolation.

She blinked as he moved into her room, not waiting for an invitation. She tried not to frown in annoyance as he ignored her attempts to be alone for the night.

“So have you spoke to T, yet?” Joey asked casually as he kicked off his shoes and pulled back the edge of the duvet.

She watched, shocked by his seeming lack of understanding. He was usually so receptive to what she was trying to say.

“Erm,” she began, as she rubbed a tired hand over her eyes, “Yeah, I just got off facetime him actually.” She moved to join him on the bed, ready to settle into the pillows.

Joey brow crinkled as he checked his watch. “You guys usually talk for longer than that, don’t you?”

“Erm," Hayley mumbled, looking at the duvet cover," I guess I just didn’t have much to say tonight,” Hayley laughed awkwardly, refusing to look at him as she spoke. She had the sneaking feeling that if she did, she would start to cry.

“Did he not want to hear about the tour?” Joey pushed, trying to get her to open up.

“Well, what was I going to say that was new?” Hayley offered weakly, “The shows have been good and I’ve not been out much other than that, so it’s probably not even very interesting for him to hear about.” She wasn’t going to tell Joey she’d cut it short because she couldn’t handle Taylor’s growing concern for her.

Joey frowned at that, knowing that her words were untrue. Taylor would sit and listen to her for hours if she wanted to talk to him about something. “Well, we could go out tomorrow if you want?” he offered gently, trying to keep the concern out of his voice.

Hayley finally looked up from where she was playing with a section of the duvet and shook her head. “No, don’t worry about it,” she said, waving him off, trying to keep her voice steady. “It’s not like we’ve not been to New York before, I’ve seen all the tourist spots. Hey, you used to live here, it’s not like it will be exciting for you anyway!” she pointed out, trying to sound relaxed.

“I’ll show you the best spots if you want,” he offered earnestly, “that sounds like a lot of fun! I reckon we could get into some fun shit if we really tried!”

She smiled meekly and reached out to squeeze his forearm. “I appreciate it, Joe, I promise, I just don’t feel like it right now,” she said, voice betraying her sadness. His offer was exactly what she had been planning to do before the tour began, and now the opportunity was right in front of her but she couldn’t bring herself to accept it.

He nodded and relented, feeling the tense energy radiating off her. He settled back against the pillows and picked up the remote, looking for something fun for them to watch. He could tell by the way Hayley's body relaxed into the mattress that she was relieved he had stopped pushing her.

They sat and watched quietly for ten minutes before Joey rolled onto his side to look at her. “Hayley, is everything okay at the moment?” he asked quietly, unable to let the opportunity pass him when she hadn’t been willing to spend time with him like this in over a week.

She tensed and turned to look at him. “What? Did Taylor or my mom say something?”

Joey frowned and shook his head lightly, trying to keep her calm. “No, no one has said anything to me,” he assured her, “You’ve just been distant lately and I wanted to check-in.”

“Yeah, I’m good, I promise!” she ground out, “Why is everyone on my case about this?

Joey stayed silent, unable to think of what to reply that wouldn’t upset her more.

“I’m fine! I’m just tired!” she continued, exasperated. “This is my first solo tour and everyone seems to be forgetting that! It’s a lot of work but it’s fine, I can handle it! Sure, am I lonely? Yeah, I think I am but it’s fine! Is it a lot to be doing it all alone? Yeah, but I can handle it so everyone needs to just lay off!”

Joey opened his mouth to cut in, keen to continue the conversation about loneliness, what he had been expecting to be the reason for her change in behaviour.

“I don’t need pity or concern right now! I have to prove I can do this by myself and that I’m not too fragile to handle it without the guys. This is my chance to show everyone what progress I’ve made and it sucks that the people closest to me don’t think I can handle it!” she rambled on, breathing heavily as she finished.

Joey stopped, shocked at her words. “Hayley,” he spoked quietly, adjusting himself further up on the pillows, “We know you can do it. The shows are so good and you’ve never sounded better," he said sincerely, "but there’s no shame in reaching out if you need some help.”

“I don’t need help,” she muttered quietly.

Joey paused, unsure if he should point out that she had just admitted some of her problems. “I’m not saying you do, Hayley,” he offered gently, “This may be your solo tour but you’ve got people who are here for you if you need, I just want you to know that.”

She stared at him and gulped. She had revealed a lot more than she had intended to when she started rambling, and she couldn’t but feel sick with vulnerability as he watched with his gentle eyes. Vulnerability was meant to be her weapon now but the urge to run was almost consuming.

Joey nodded before reaching to brush a stray piece of her hair behind her ears. “I want to do everything I can to make this the best tour of your life, Hayley. You’ve worked too hard and the record is too good for it to be anything less. But that’s not going to happen if you won’t let people help you.”

She nodded, processing his words. “I don’t want to burden you with everything, this tour was meant to be so much fun for both of us and I’ve fucked it up,” she smiled sadly, shaking her head as he opened his mouth to cut her off, “No, I know I have, you don’t have to act like the past two weeks have been great.” She tucked her legs up to her chest before continuing, “The shows have been good but the second I’m off that stage, it’s like the pressure of everything that being a solo artist requires crushes me.”

“Like the recognition and the promo?”

She nodded. “It’s like all the expectations of what I’m meant to be and how I’m the sole leader of this crew.” She huffed and rolled her eyes as she continued, “Like I know people thought I was the leader of the band but we all knew everyone had roles that were just as important and someone could pick up the slack if you were struggling.” She paused and breathed out, “I just feel like there’s no room for slack, it has to be perfect and I’m not reaching that.”

“Hayley, no one think’s that you have to be perfect, or that you are failing in any way,” he soothed her, reaching out to squeeze her hand.

She smiled feebly, grateful for the words. “I know it’s all in my head but as soon as I was conscious of these expectations I thought everyone had, it was like I was could barely move without reminding myself of them. Like, we talked so much about what we wanted to do during this tour and I can’t bring myself to enjoy it so it feels like I can barely talk to you without feeling guilty that I was letting you down.”

“Hayley, you’ve not let me down,” he firmly assured her, “None of that stuff really matters, sure, it would have been fun but I care more about you being happy! And if you’re not, then let’s do something to change that!”

She smiled gratefully and nodded before he continued. “You’ve got to let go of this idea that you need to prove something! You show us and your fans every day that you can do the job, and that you are damn good at it! Please don’t beat yourself up for being tired or lonely without everyone else here, that was always going to happen. You’ve been travelling, performing, doing promo and you are doing it all by yourself! Girl, I would be concerned if you weren’t worn out!”

She chuckled wetly as he flailed his hands. She nodded to herself, ingesting the words and processing how they battled her worries. The ache didn’t lessen but it felt like she was starting to recognise it. It was fear. Fear of not being enough or letting people down.

“Other people do it,” she pointed out quietly, shame laced in her voice.

“So?” Joey asked, almost outraged with confusion by the comparison. “You’re not other people! You don’t know what they deal with on tour, and if anything they aren’t as lucky to be used to having a family on tour like you are!” he pointed out before continuing, “This was always going to be an adjustment Hayley, and it’s okay if you’re struggling with the change.”

Hayley nodded, guilt talking over for not talking this out with him earlier. He’d gotten straight to the root of her problems in just one night after she’d spent weeks wallowing because she couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she conceded sadly. “I just wanted this to be perfect so badly and I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t let myself to have it. Man, I’d spoken so much about how ready for this tour I was but I just assumed everyone thought I was fucking it up.”

Joey shook his head, laughing softly. “You’ve been really fighting with yourself up in that head of yours, haven’t you?”

She smiled appreciatively at the slight break in the tension. “I know the shows have been good and I’m so grateful for that, but it just feels like everything else has been a struggle and I hate it. I couldn’t talk to you or T or my mom about it because I didn’t want anyone to worry and try and step in when I thought I should just be able to handle it.” She paused, steadying her voice after as it cracked. “Now the tour is nearly over and I want to make the most of it, but it’s hard to get over the feeling that I’m messing it all up.” She laughed dully, “I know it’s because I freaked out over how different this all is from what I’m used to, I just thought I could handle it better,” she finished, sadly.

“Different is not bad,” Joey reminded her softly.

She smiled and nodded faintly. “Different is not bad,” she confirmed, mostly for herself.

He squeezed her hand again before sighing. “I think it’s time for sleep now, but let’s do something tomorrow,” he pulled a face as she grimaced, “if we are going to make the most of this tour, then we need to start now, and I won’t take no for an answer!”

She smiled softly at her friend. “Okay,” she relented, knowing he was right. “Let’s get breakfast somewhere and maybe do something fun. I need to ring T and my mom at some point so I can let them know what’s going on, they definitely know something was wrong but I shut them down any time they tried to bring it up.”

Joey nodded, patting his pocket to check for his phone as he approached the door. “Let’s meet at ten so it’s not too hot out!” he suggested, checking to see if she was nodding. “Okay, great! Well, sleep well Miss Williams, and text me if you need anything at all,” he reminded her gently.

She smiled and waved as he left the room before leaning over to grab her phone off the side table, presumably to ring her mom.

Joey sighed with relief as he walked down the corridor, glad to have made a breakthrough with her. He felt guilty it had taken this long but he would do whatever he could to make the end of the tour good for her now that she had expressed her fears.

He scrolled on his phone until he found the number he needed as he walked into his own room, flopping onto the bed.

“Hey, are you free to speak?” he asked, waiting to hear the response he wanted.

\---

“So what did you think of that place? It’s good, right?”

“Yeah, that food was so good!” Hayley agreed as she dropped her purse back into her bag. “Thanks for bringing me here Joe, I’m glad we went out for breakfast.”

Joey beamed. “You are so welcome, I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he replied sincerely. “Did you sleep any better last night after we talked?”

“I think so?” Hayley replied questioningly. “I rang my mom and we chatted about why I was worrying, and she was glad I was willing to discuss it,” she explained, “I mean, those feelings haven’t completely gone away and I’m still pretty exhausted from everything, but I wasn’t kept awake last night from overthinking, which seems like a good step forward.”

“It is,” Joey confirmed as he walked to the edge of the sidewalk, sticking his hand out to hail a taxi, “Like, we can’t solve problems in one night, but I’m still proud of you for being open about how you are feeling.”

“Yeah, I feel like a weight has been lifted just from vocalising what I was feeling,” she admitted, sighing in relief, “Mom wasn’t shocked that I was putting too much pressure on myself, which is fair, I don’t think anyone is,” she laughed softly.

“Yeah that’s true – Oh, I think this one is stopping!” Joey cut himself off, gesturing to the oncoming taxi. He pulled the door open and waited for Hayley to climb in. He supplied the name of the hotel and sat back in his seat. “Listen, you’ve had to adapt to this whole new format by yourself, it’s not surprising that you’ve internalised all that pressure.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she agreed, “I’m just glad you made me face it before it ruined the entire tour.”

“The tour wouldn’t have been ruined,” he reminded her, “It just wouldn’t have been what you deserved, there’s more to it than just making the fans happy like that’s a major part but your happiness is important too.”

Hayley smiled at her friend, grateful for him and his support. “Thanks, Joe, I really I’m glad you’re here with me.”

“Hey, we’ve got each other, what kind of tour boyfriend would I be if I didn’t pull you out your downward spiral?”

She laughed at his sarcasm and nodded, “That’s very true!”

“Is there anything else you want to do today?” Joey asked, as their cab pulled up to the hotel. He pulled Hayley’s hand back as she reached for her purse and shook his head, “tour boyfriend of the year,” he reminded her, as he pulled out the change for the driver.

She snorted and climbed out of the cab, smiling as Joey thanked the driver. She waited as he jogged up to the hotel entrance before replying, “I know I said I want to get out more now, but I think I just need a nap before that interview I’ve got later. I feel better from the sleep I got but still not great, you know?”

Joey nodded, reaching out to press the elevator button. “Yeah, that’s all good, don’t worry about it. I know I said I want you to have a good time, but you’ve got to make sure your health is in check as well.”

“I’m really going to work on it, I promise. I loved breakfast today and I’m so glad we went, but I think I just need to lie down for a bit, try and destress before the interview,” she explained as they stepped into the elevator.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” he agreed, “baby steps,” he reminded her.

“Baby steps,” she confirmed, smiling at her friend. “I might ring T and see what he’s up to," she said, faulting slightly at the guilt she felt. "I feel bad for being a bit distant recently. I know he just wants what’s best for me but it made it worse that he could tell there was something wrong so I’ve sort of been avoiding him for the past few days.”

Joey hummed in acknowledgement. “You know I don’t think he’s mad at you or anything, Hayley.”

She hummed in acknowledgement, not wanting to dwell on Joey's words. “I think not being able to speak to him about it all made it worse, you know? Like I’m so used to being able to talk stuff out with him and it made the pressure even worse because I felt bad that I couldn’t explain to him, all of people that I wasn’t okay.” Her voice wobbled slightly as she scrolled on her phone.

She did feel guilty for pushing him away when all he ever wanted was to check up on her. She paled at the thought of admitting to one of her biggest supporters that she wasn’t handling the pressure of touring as well as she had expected. He wouldn’t be angry or disappointed with her, but the thought of failing his well-intentioned high expectations of her made her throat feel thick with shame. But he deserved to know that she wasn’t mad at him, and her chest tightened as she realised all she just wanted him to reassure her it was all going to be okay.

Joey nodded silently, not sure what else to say to her as she held the phone up to her ear. The doors opening saved him from responding and he focused on finding his key as they approached their rooms. He reached for the key card in her hand to open her door as she focused on the ringing tone, tapping her foot as she waited for a response.

“Huh, he’s not answering,” she said with a frown, staring at Taylor’s contact page as she moved to the doorway to keep it open. She bit her lip as she considered the lack of response. He was usually always available when she rang. He hadn’t seemed mad during their shorter than usual conversation last night but she had been so consumed with her fears that she might have missed his frustration. The concern shifted to dread as she contemplated this.

“Maybe he’s got headphones on?” Joey suggested casually as he unlocked his own door.

Hayley sighed, trying to smooth her panic at the lack of response. “Yeah, I can always just try and ring him after I’ve slept for a bit,” she reasoned weakly, mostly for herself. “Probably better for me to speak to him about it all when I’ve had some more time to process it all anyway.”

Joey nodded sympathetically before pointing into his room. “I might chill in my room for a bit or possibly go on a walk for a bit, but let me know if you want to hang out before the show,” he reminded her.

“I’ll probably end up sleeping until my alarm goes off but I’ll let you know,” she replied. She swallowed and called him before he shut his door, “Hey, Joe,” she began quietly, “Thanks for just being here when I needed it. It’s still a lot,” she pointed at her head, “but it’s a start. So, thank you.”

Joey smiled and waved her off. “Go get some sleep, you can thank me later,” he replied.

She smirked with confusion and nodded tiredly, “Pretty sure I just did.”

Joey grinned and raised his brows, before shaking his head. “Never mind, I’ll see you in a bit,” he called as he shut his door.

Hayley stared in confusion at the closed door before laughing tiredly, acutely aware of her need for sleep. She could speak to him about whatever he meant later.

\---

She’d been asleep for nearly two hours when Hayley slowly blinked her eyes open at the sound of a door quietly shutting somewhere nearby.

She sighed and adjusted her head on the pillow, willing herself to fall back to sleep quickly. This was the first day she had slept peacefully in the past few weeks and she wasn’t going to lose the chance to get back the rest she lost during the peak of her worrying.

She pulled the duvet up and hummed in contentment as her feet burrowed into it. She breathed softly as she waited for sleep to overtake her again.

She lay still for just a moment before the dip of the mattress next to her caused the air to catch in her throat.

She jerked to the side in panic. Her vision rapidly sharpened as she stared at the figure next to her.

“What –?” she gasped, taking in the sight of Taylor settling next to her, hands up to calm her.

“Hey,” he chuckled softly as he stroked her arm, “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“What are you doing here?” she quietly demanded, trying to slow her heart rate. “ What’s even happening right now?”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay!” he reassured her, “It’s just me, don’t worry about it.”

“Am I dreaming or something?” she asked, rubbing her head.

“No, you’re not,” he laughed softly, “Joey rang last night and asked me to come.”

Hayley gaped, not sure what to say. She stared at him as he smiled kindly, blinking again to wake up her brain. “You’re actually here,” she breathed.

“Yeah, I am,” he confirmed warmly.

“Oh my god.”

“Not quite but thanks,” he grinned as he turned to lie on his back. “Come here.”

She rolled hurriedly and moved to sink into him as he moved his arms to her back to cradle her into his chest. “We can talk later,” he assured her, "Just sleep for now.”

“You came,” she mumbled in disbelief into his t-shirt, relieved. The scent of him softened her, blurring her vision as he stroked her head. “You’re not angry at me.”

He hushed her and kissed the top of her head. “Just sleep Hayley, I’ll still be here when you wake up. We can talk later.”

She nodded and stroked her hand over his ribs, confirming he really was there. The beat of his heart thudded under her palm. She pressed a long kiss against the cotton of his t-shirt and breathed out slowly, settling her cheek and closing her eyes.

\---

Hayley’s eyes fluttered open as she rubbed her cheek against her new pillow. She inhaled the scent and smiled warmly as she remembered the circumstances of how she had last woken up.

She stretched her leg out, enjoying the release of tension from her tight muscles. She glanced down to see Taylor closing his chat with Dan before dropping his phone on the mattress.

Taylor smoothed a hand over her head as he felt her movements, moving to rub his hands over her back. Hayley hummed in contentment and adjusted herself to press tired kisses under his jaw.

“Good afternoon,” he murmured, chuckling at her affectionate greeting.

“Mm,” she hummed, pressing another kiss to the stubble. “So I wasn’t dreaming then.”

“No, you weren’t,” he agreed, voice still low.

Hayley felt her stomach flutter at his gravelly voice and shifted upwards to bring their foreheads together. “Lucky me,” she purred, as she reached up to brush her fingers through the hair that had seemed to have grown longer since she left. She surged down and kissed him deeply, hoping to show him just how much she had missed him. They continued for a few moments before she paused briefly to tug at Taylor’s lower lip with her teeth.

He groaned and slid his hands from her back to her thighs, pressing his blunt nails just hard enough to make her moan as they resumed the kiss. Hayley skimmed his cheeks with her thumbs before breaking it to start to place soft kisses down his face, heading to his jaw. The soft hairs of his grown-out stubble tickled her lips.

She continued her descent until she reached the crook between his jaw and neck, and sucked lightly before pressing another kiss onto the skin. He hummed in contentment as he massaged his hands back up until they reached her hair, tangling his fingers in the blonde locks so he could grip the back of her neck.

Taylor rolled her onto her back and shifted down so he could bury his face into the crook of her neck. She tilted her head to the side to give him better access as he began to suck on the sensitive skin, eyes fluttering shut as she melted at the sensation.

He laughed against her neck as she shifted her hips against him. She turned to look to him to see his response until the hand on her neck tilted her away again. She smiled and looked to the side, eyes briefly skimming over the digital clock on the side table.

She gasped as her eyes widened, sitting up suddenly and dislodging him from her neck. “Fuck.”

Taylor spluttered at the sudden movement. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he coughed, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

“I’m late, I’m so fucking late!” she rushed out, searching on the chair for her jeans.

“Hayley –!”

“No, I can’t talk right now! I’m twenty minutes late for a stupid interview,” she exclaimed as she pulled on her jeans and started to button them.

“Hayley, wait –!”

“Taylor, we can continue that later!” she cried, confused why he wasn’t as bothered. “I had one responsibility today before the show and I fucked it up!” she groaned. She pressed a fist to her mouth as she scanned the floor for socks, infuriated with herself for proving that she couldn’t manage the expectations and demands of a solo artist.

“Hayley! Stop!” Taylor called, finally grabbing her attention. “You don’t have an interview today,” he explained calmly, reaching out to keep her still, “I spoke to Mark and had him cancel it.”

“What? Why? Why would you do that?” she spluttered out, blinked at his words as she tried to process them. Why would he have cancelled her interview when they hadn’t even spoken about what she was dealing with. It wasn't his place to decide what she did in her solo career. A sense of indignant anger crawled up her throat as she crossed her arms and glared at him.

“Hey, calm down for one second,” he stated, rubbing his thumbs against her arms. “Joey spoke to me last night and from what he said, I gathered you needed some time to just relax. Hey, let me finish,” he cut her off as she opened up her mouth to protest, “The show tonight is sold out and you’ve done so many interviews for this album already, nothing new is going to come out of some short interview for a local radio station.”

She glared at him as she considered his words. He was correct that the interview wasn’t essential from promotion and had been scheduled before the tour had even begun so it wasn’t like it was vital for her career. She huffed and gutted her chin out, nodding silently for him to continue.

He sighed and knelt back down on the bed. “I promise, I’m not trying to control you or anything, and I’m sure if you really want to make up the interview, they’ll be more than happy to schedule you in," he offered, palms raised. "I don’t know exactly what’s been up with you recently but I thought you could use this time for yourself rather than force yourself to do something that's not even necessary.”

She nodded and breathed out the tension she hadn’t even been conscious that she was holding. He was right and she knew it. "Yeah."

She shuffled round to her side of the bed, feeling heavy from the ache that she hadn’t felt since Taylor had appeared early that afternoon. She pulled back the duvet and crawled under before reaching her arms out, gesturing for him to join her.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” she mumbled as he slid under the covers and pulled her close.

“Hey, it’s all good,” he cooed, “I should have warned you about the changed.”

They lay in silence for a moment before he spoke again. “I’m not going to push you if you don’t want to talk about it right now, but I’m ready to listen when you feel like you can tell me what’s going on.”

She squeezed her arms around his waist in acknowledgement before forcing herself to take a deep breath. “I guess it’s easier if we start by you telling me what Joey has said about it.”

“He didn’t say much because he didn’t want to break your trust or anything, but he asked me to come because he said you were struggling at the moment and probably needed some extra support,” he said calmly.

Hayley nodded where her head lay on his shoulder. “I didn’t want to tell you, or anyone really,” she began quietly, breathing out to calm her emotions, “but this tour and the expectations I’ve placed on myself have been overwhelming for the past few weeks and I was too ashamed to admit it.”

Taylor hummed before rubbing her back. “H, you’ve not been letting anyone down,” he began, as Hayley squeezed her eyes shut to stop tears from falling. She had been so scared of disappointing him and his words made her feel foolish for thinking he would have been annoyed.

She sniffled once and swallowed before she continued. “I know I put too much pressure on myself anyway but being out here alone without you and the rest of the guys just hit me hard, and I feel like I’ve been alone, floating out to sea for the past few weeks because I had no one who could help.”

“You aren’t alone,” he reminded her, “Joey’s here and I would have flown out earlier if you had asked.”

“I know,” she whimpered, “I couldn’t even figure out what the problem was at first but I knew I’d feel even more like a failure if I admitted I needed help.”

“Oh, Hayley,” he mumbled against her hair as he kissed her scalp, “You aren’t a failure, I’m pretty sure you’ve never been one in your entire life. Needing help or more support when you’re alone and tackling something brand new like this isn’t admitting defeat, it’s admitting you’re human.”

She let out a shuttered breath as she processed his words. She’d struggled in the past with trying to force herself into becoming the shell of a human for the sake of her career and whilst she thought she’d gotten better at having perspective, clearly, she still had some work do it.

She nodded against his shoulder again as she used her free hand to wipe her face, “I know.”

“All you need to focus on now is yourself and the shows,” Taylor urged gently, “As long as _you_ are happy with how you perform the songs, the fans will have the best time just watching you up on that stage. Nothing else matters now. No promo or anything else is worth the stress it’s causing if it takes away from the most important part of this tour,” he reminded her, “and that’s you.”

She pulled back and looked at his, before pulling his forehead to hers. “Thanks, T,” she murmured, “I needed to hear that.” She looked into his eyes for a moment, before pressing a loving kiss against his lips.

“I mean it, Hayley,” he said as they broke apart, still holding her close, “Nothing else matters more to me, or probably any of your fans,” he said, stroking her jaw, “your happiness is more important than any expectations anyone may have.”

She nodded against his forehead before kissing him again. “Thank you for coming T,” she said sincerely, “I love you.”

He smiled bashfully. “I love you too. I’d catch any early morning flight if you needed me to.”

She smiled at his words. He looked at her face before glancing down and reaching for the hem of her baggy T-shirt, as she frowned in confusion at his actions. He pulled it up towards her face and swiped it under her nose, grinning he pulled it away and she stared mortified at the snotty fabric.

“Oh my god,” she cringed, “that’s so gross!” she laughed at what he had just done. She smacked a hand against his chest in exasperation, “That was such a nice moment and you just had to do that!”

He grinned and laughed at her words, “Hey, I’ll kiss you with whatever you’ve got on your face, I don’t mind.”

She grinned and rolled her eyes at his words, still embarrassed. “Wow, glad to know my boyfriend finds kissing me with snot and tears on my face so sexy.”

“Listen,” he laughed before showing her his watch, “You’ve probably got to start getting ready to leave for the venue and I’m just helping you out.”

She snorted and nodded as she used him to propel herself off the bed to start preparing. She pottered around the room to sort out her venue bag, catching him as he watched her fondly in her peripheral.

She stopped her movements for a moment and looked at him. He’d flown all this way just because he knew she needed him to talk it out with her. He could have face-timed her but he’d come in person just because he knew she wouldn’t admit how much she needed it. Her throat thickened up at the thought of how lucky she was to have him.

She swallowed and smiled at him. “I really mean it, T, thanks for coming,” she said softly, hoping her knew how much she appreciated him.

He smiled shyly and nodded. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

It was the truth and she knew it.

\--

“He is too.”

Hayley grinned at the cheers as the song ended. The Nashville audience was always loud when they performed and tonight was no different.

“Thank you guys,” she called into the microphone, “Tonight has been so much fun, you guys never disappoint.”

She turned to the band and watched as they set up for the next song, moving quickly about the stage. She grabbed the water bottle from the front of the stage and took a quick sip of the lukewarm water before dropping it back to the ground. She glanced at Joey, who held up two fingers, gesturing for some more time to sort his bass. Hayley nodded before turning to the crowd and grinning.

“So Nashville, this is the part of the show where I have some time to talk to you,” Hayley said, laughing at the cheers. Pretty much anything she said would get that reaction. “Man, I’m so sad this tour is ending tonight,” she admitted, tucking a sweaty strand of loose hair behind her ear. “But don’t worry, we’ve still got a few more songs to play for you.”

She paused and grinned at the applause. “As I said before, this tour is ending tonight and I’m really going to miss it,” she explained, shrugging in acceptance. “I know it’s been two months or so, but I feel like we’re just getting started,” she said, glancing at Joey who was nodding in agreement.

She huffed out and nodded to herself, “But this whole process has been about honesty with not just with myself, but you guys too,” she said, gesturing to the crowd. “So I’m going to be real with you guys and say that there were moments of this tour that I really struggled and felt like I wasn’t living up to the expectations that I created for myself.”

She bit her lip in amusement as the crowd cheered again, and waved her hand to shrug them off. “You guys are way too kind to me sometimes,” she chuckled, walking across the stage to the other side, “but I’m being real when I say that this tour wasn’t a walk in the park, and if you listened to the band’s last album, you’ll know I really value being transparent with you guys about my struggles with this job sometimes.”

She paused, wiping the sweat off her brow whilst she collected her thoughts. “But I wanted to say that the shows were always great, you guys constantly support me and the band, and the way you’ve embraced these songs and the stories they tell have meant so much to me,” she said, hand to her chest, “So I guess this was just a long way of saying thank you.” She chuckled and continued, “I know a lot of you won’t be shocked it took me that long to just say it, but I mean everything I said. This tour had its tough moments but I want to thank you guys so much for turning up to all the shows and being a part of this process with me.”

She smiled as the crowd cheered, and nodded slowly. “We wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for the support you guys show me and my friends, and that’s the honest truth, so thank you guys!”

Joey gestured thumbs-up, and Hayley glanced around to check if the band was ready.

“Well, I think we are about ready to get the next song going,” Hayley declared, “so I’ll stop rambling and we can get back to dancing. This one’s called Sudden Desire, sing along if you’re old enough.”

They moved through a few more songs and a cover until they approached the final song of the show.

Hayley looked out to the crowd as she panted, trying to savour the moment. Warmth spread through her body as she watched the sweaty faces of fans beam back at her.

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this Nashville, but we’ve got one more song left on the Petals for Armor tour,” she cried, laughing at the crowd’s roar in response, “Man, I feel you guys, I want to keep going all night as well.”

She grabbed the water bottle from the front of the stage and swigged it, dropping it back to the floor after screwing the lid back on. “I know I talk way too much at shows, and I’ve already given you guys a few monologues but if you guys will allow me a moment to share some thanks to a few friends of mine who were just as important to this album as I was, I would be very appreciative.”

She strode to the side of the stage to introduce the band members individually, pausing in between for cheers.

“These guys have been the best backing band I could ask for. You know, it’s not always easy to go from playing with one band all the time to suddenly sharing the stage with a new set of musicians, but these guys have made it so easy for me, and I’m so grateful for you guys,” she said, clasping her hands and bowing slightly.

“I promise we will get back to the music in two minutes, but I just have some final thanks and then I swear I’ll shut up,” she offered. “I’ve got some friends somewhere in the audience,” she said, scanning the crowd, hand to her forehead, “some of you may be backstage, I'm not too sure, but I’ll address the crowd anyway.”

She cleared her throat before continuing, “There are too many people here for me to name y’all individually so I’m just going to mention a few, but just know that I’m so grateful to anyone that had even the smallest part on the album.”

“Lindsey, Brian, Zac, Dan,” she listed, trying to think of more names, “hell even Grandat,” she laughed, as the crowd cheered, “I couldn’t have done it without you guys. The album is what it is because you so thank you,” she smiled, tapping her heart with the hand that wasn’t holding the microphone.

“Okay, two more you guys, I promise,” she laughed at her own rambling. “Just need to thank my guys and then I’m done,” she said, holding her hands up defensively.

She turned and pointed at Joey, grinning as the crowd cheered. “You guys may know this one,” she said, walking to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, “this one right here was there for me last year during some of the hardest times and I’m so grateful for him,” she said sincerely, turning to look him in the eye. “Joey, every review of this album raved about your basslines and it’s so true. Your work on this album is incredible and I can’t stress how honoured I am to have you as a friend and a collaborator,” she grinned as Joey pouted in endearment at her words, “You took such good care of me on this tour and I’m so glad I had you by my side for this journey.”

She grinned as Joey moved his bass to the side to grab her. Hayley laughed as he lifted her off the ground in a hug and swayed her to the side. “I mean it, Joe, I couldn’t have done it without you,” she whispered in his ear.

Joey placed her down and nodded, grinning broadly at her.

She squeezed his arm and moved back to the centre of the stage. “Okay, this last one isn’t for someone on stage and I don’t know where he’s stood right now, but I just know he’s going to get the biggest cheer of the night,” she said, laughing at the crowd started to scream in anticipation, “and I won’t say too much because I know you’re already mad at me for saying even this. But Taylor,” she laughed as her suspicions were proven correct as the crowd’s loud screaming at his name cut her off. She laughed harder as they continued before eventually starting again, “I hope you already know how grateful I am for you,” she voiced crackled slightly and she coughed to mask it, “and all the work you did for this album. Hell, this whole thing would have been a Spotify playlist if you hadn’t pushed for me to make an album,” she laughed bashfully. “You’re my rock, and this tour has been no exception,” she said truthfully, “I’m going to stop talking now and get on with the final song but I couldn’t end this cycle without giving you the thanks you deserve. Sometimes it scares me that I think I couldn’t do any of this without you,” she paused and shook her head, smiling, “but I honestly don’t think I would want to if you weren’t by my side.”

She grinned as the crowd cheered at her words. Scanning the room again, she couldn’t locate Taylor, but it was probably better for him to stay backstage anyway. Her mouth twitched at the image of him hiding in the shadows, cheeks burning from embarrassment from her words. She would feel bad since she knew how much he hated public praise, but she didn’t regret using this opportunity to appreciate him when he deserved the recognition and more for everything he did.

"Is he around here?" she asked into the microphone, peering off into the wings. She grinned as she caught him stood to the side with her mom, shaking his head in happy embarrassment. He widened his eyes and covered his mouth to stop his laughter from falling out. She grinned wider as he shooed her off, gesturing to the crowd. She nodded in amusement and snapped a finger gun at him, pleased with herself.

“Anyway,” she looked at the crowd and nodded, “thank guys for indulging me and letting me ramble on about how much I love my people, because I’m not going to have another chance for a little while so thank you.”

She sighed and rubbed at her eyes, swallowing hard. “Man I can’t believe this is it, but I’m glad we’re ending on a special one,” she beamed with anticipation through the bittersweet sensation, “Nashville, thank you for ending this tour for me in the best way possible. I’m Hayley Williams and this last song is called Crystal Clear, sing along if you know the words.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it, I'm fully out of ideas for what to write about next but if you have any suggestions please let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, (apologies if this was boring, I forced myself to write with basically no inspiration). Please let me know what you think!


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